I don't know how I will do it but I'm blogging again to remind me that today I will make the decision to do what everyone is telling me and that is to move on and let go.
I guess this decision is supported by almost everyone that I know and this will make them happy even if I am not certain that I will be happy with it.
I have my expectations that in making this decision I will not feel bad because I will be supported anyway right? But at the back of my mind I know that I'm just doing what everyone is telling me and that the support I expected will not come when I needed it the most.
But why am I saying all these things? What bullshit is this again? Why am I blogging?
I guess this is me giving up. This is me not hoping and wanting to wait anymore.
Imagine, I will only meet you once in a lifetime and it took a year for me to know you. Yet I can't keep you? What if letting you go would mean having you back?
I'm only a lesbian because I fall in love with women.
Is it time to get back to dating men? Will there be another lesbian lover waiting in line? Will I ever be straight again?
What if I focus on God and tell Him that I'm giving up on this love so I can have you as a friend back? I think this is a better sacrifice to make. I don't know what to feel anymore.
My January is about to end smoothly and I'm happy because I finished Perks of being a wallflower, Galatians and Ephesians. I think I did good this January.But emotionally, I still feel the same.
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Cheryl Ching
Blogger
9intervals, the idea is derived from a cat having nine lives. I guess, I don't have to tell you how much I love cats!
We've been through intervals in this lifetime. Guess, I'm lucky to be alive. I don't think I would be lucky the next time. But nevertheless, we have our intervals. A certain episode that we remember in the past that affects our future. Or maybe just something that we can learn from. A little something to look back to.
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