I just finished watching "Colombiana" a movie starred by Zoe Saldana.
What can I say? I love the movie coz it was full of action. Only sad coz it is a story about revenge. Well, good thing is that we get a happy ending.
Sometimes I do get angry and I wish I can also have my revenge on people but I'm not sure if I can be that cruel. Besides it was my intention to hurt myself and I did it.
This week God taught me to love myself. I realized that indeed I do not love myself that much and it is not right for me to hate myself.
I was right there behind the person that I think I love and I felt the chill. I realized I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't go after something that doesn't feel good anymore. And this is how I get what " love has to feel good" was about.
You know it is so unfair but I took it all in. All the pain and the hurt just for you to get this message " love should feel good" across. All this time, you did it on purpose and I really think you did. You keep hurting me just for me to feel bad so I can stop. It is very painful and the thought of it makes me sick. I simply cannot be with someone who makes me feel bad all the time. And so this should be over and concluded.
God help me please.. I still believe that I cannot do this on my own.
I'm just thankful to God because He let me feel this pain. I think He knew that I will get hurt but He let me experience it so that I will learn from it. I say these things because there was this one incident when I thought it was fate already that lead me to the one I love but it did not end up well. So things went really bad instead of the other way around.
I just wanna be happy this December. With all my heart I have loved and tried. But it takes two to tango. And I cannot fall in love alone. This is how I know why I couldn't cry. All the pain that I'm feeling was intended for me to feel. Knowing these will not make me cry because I only cry for someone who had also fallen in love with me. Someone who really took the time to love me.
I thought I was after a friend so I swallowed my pride to win a friend back. But this is all over and I can only pray for God to heal my broken heart.
If you were looking for sincerity.. I can promise to be true for someone who would love me back. Right now, I just can't stick out to the idea of waiting because it makes me feel all the hurt so as much as possible I try to have fun by meeting new people that will help me forget the pain.
You are all I think of and I'm tired of figuring out how the happy times ended.
I miss you still and I will always love you.
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Cheryl Ching
Blogger
9intervals, the idea is derived from a cat having nine lives. I guess, I don't have to tell you how much I love cats!
We've been through intervals in this lifetime. Guess, I'm lucky to be alive. I don't think I would be lucky the next time. But nevertheless, we have our intervals. A certain episode that we remember in the past that affects our future. Or maybe just something that we can learn from. A little something to look back to.
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