I've finished season 1 of The L word tonight.
Yes, I'm watching this TV episode again after seeing it probably 2 years ago.
What can I say? They have become a part of my life. And I wanna say I still love them.
There is this line that Jenny delivered that bothered me. It felt powerful to me.
This dialogue with Marina.
Jenny: (whispering) Everytime I look at you, I...
[Marina looks up.]
Jenny: (whispering) I feel so completely dismantled.
Dismantled is what she calls it. I guess I can relate. sigh.
I don't know if this is good but it has been a long time since I was dismantled.
Am i being dismantled again? Is this good for me? Is this a good sign?
What can I do about it? What is happening to me?
I think I'm really close to getting to the bottom of all of this. Sometimes when you get all sorts of emotions you get mixed up so you can't tell which is which but I think after exposing myself to all these feelings..I think I'm close to admitting what it really is.
I keep trying to keep it under control by telling myself that this is all friendship. Go for friendship but it looked like I'm doing something else.
So how do you do it? How do you keep it all under control?
I guess, I can't.
I need to make a choice.
I need to leave until the feelings go away.
You just can't be friends with someone you have feelings for.
But I'm afraid to lose this friendship coz I decided to go away for sometime.
This is really beyond my control now.
I told a friend that I can probably blog about love everyday. I guess I can but I'm not really sure coz I stopped writing a long time ago. And even as I try to blog again; it wasn't the same anymore. It was like I lose my train of thought. I went completely stupid coz I stopped writing and it made me stopped thinking. And sometimes it is good because less talk less mistake right? But sometimes I miss writing as a form of expression. But judgments will always be there I guess from people.
So what about tonight? What is it to share? My day wasn't really great. I can't sleep coz I have not eaten dinner and there is no food. So I'm blogging coz I have nothing to do.
Tomorrow is a new day. I just wish everything will be well.
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Cheryl Ching
Blogger
9intervals, the idea is derived from a cat having nine lives. I guess, I don't have to tell you how much I love cats!
We've been through intervals in this lifetime. Guess, I'm lucky to be alive. I don't think I would be lucky the next time. But nevertheless, we have our intervals. A certain episode that we remember in the past that affects our future. Or maybe just something that we can learn from. A little something to look back to.
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